- Anger is an emotion just like any other emotion, however it often rears its ugly head through violence and destruction.
- Both the person on the receiving end of the anger and the angry person get injured in the process.
- Experience ways to release your anger without injuring anyone.
- Become more mindful of your anger process.
- Make peace with those you have hurt.
Anger results when we are hurt and don’t have any supportive people to listen and acknowledge what has happened to us. This often occurs when we are a child and because there is no satisfactory release we begin to build a reservoir of hurt and anger. Sadly, it is uncommon to have good role models for the expression of our anger, and sadly we learn ways that hurt not only ourself but those who we are closest to.
Effective therapy explores our patterns from the past and the relationship we have to those hurtful experiences and people. The past will not change, however the relationship we have with the past can change and this is the key. To change our relationship with the past. Then we are able to live free from it’s effects and in the present, without the baggage that gets triggered and explodes so long after the original hurt.
You see we can be hurt in different ways when we are young. No one was born angry. But as we grow we can be hurt by direct action from someone who knowingly or unknowingly does something that hurts us. Also we can be hurt when someone does not provide us with what we need – acts of omission which are not as obvious but still as impacting on us. As a child we don’t have the skill to express our feelings well and we are often confronted by a parent or care giver who also lacks these skills and has the same injuries as are now being recreated in us. Please understand this is not parent bashing, it is just the sad reality. We now have the seeds of hurt and growing frustration, resentment and anger which we carry until we do something to release them. At that point we are changing our relationship with the past and freeing ourself to live in the present, without all the baggage that is so easily triggered.