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Confusion between the results of a defence and feelings

21/06/2018
Sometimes we can mistake what we use as a defence with what we label as a feeling.  If I am working with someone who is always caught in self-doubt. Then they are often left saying they feel confused. Of course, confusion is cognition, it is a thought process not a feeling.

They might say they feel confused and I point out that maybe it is your self doubt which confuses you. The defence of not knowing yourself and trusting yourself, means you stay trapped in your abusive relationship or meaningless job. When you doubt your experience, (the defence of avoiding the truth) you get trapped in a lie. This is a painful place for everyone because there can be no change from here, as the self doubt undermines a meaningful decision towards wellbeing.