Is crying useful? Well, that depends. There are different types of crying. One type is teary/weepiness which is not connected to sadness – which is the emotion that can produce crying. Teariness, is the expression of a hopeless/helpless state that is wanting to be rescued. It is wanting to be noticed and to be taken care of. This type of crying isn’t very useful for someone and will not produce a sense of relief and possibly produces a sense of even deeper desperation in theperson. If you notice this, you may just be feeling sorry for yourself – poor me. This type of crying can remain throughout someone’s life. See if you can pull yourself up, stop the crying and take some action that is useful for you – no matter how small. Make a cup of tea. Have a shower. Call a friend who you enjoy talking to. Seek therapy.
Crying that is the expression of deep sadness, is a process that lets the emotion of sadness that has been repressed and unable to get to the surface, complete it’s task. At this point the person has stopped repressing, denying, avoiding, censoring or diminishing some pain they feel about an experience of life. At this point the person has stopped ignoring themselves and has moved to being on their side and is not fighting the emotion any more. At this point deep sadness can come to the surface and when it is complete the person will just stop crying and know that, that is all for the moment. This person will experience a great sense of relief and lightness. This has been a compassionate act for this person towards themselves. This sadness is now gone, it may not be all of it at one time, but the body will just regulate this process and know when enough is enough.
In this experience the person begins to be aware that their emotions are on their side and the need to avoid and ignore themselves is lessened. This is true and experienced change. I have had people that have been in therapy with me who have been crying about en event that occurred 40 years ago and they have held that pain in their body for that amount of time. Repressing it didn’t enhance their life, it diminished it. Time didn’t heal it, it never does. The emotion just sits there in their body waiting for the chance to come to the surface and be felt. That is the function of emotion.
The benefit of good therapy is that you gain a much better life.
Enjoy your day. Seek something meaningful and experience some pleasure.
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