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Confusion between events/experiences and feelings.

Sadly, our education system doesn’t help with real life and often our parents maybe not be the best example to help create the best life we can.

So many of the people I work with struggle to differentiate between an event or experience and a feeling.

They tell me an experience where they were let down and I am ask them, ‘So what are the feelings you have towards this person for letting you down’?

They say they feel disappointed. And I say the person disappointed you, by not fulfilling their promise they made to you and what are the feelings you have towards them for disappointing you?

Often, they might then say they feel betrayed. So I say, of course. He betrayed you. And what feelings do you have towards him for betraying you?

They confuse the experience or event with feelings – such as sadness, anger, guilt, love or joy.

When they cannot make these distinctions they cannot become clear about what causes their suffering and they cannot face the truth within and change to create a better life.